time

Years had been eating us inside,
Pushing away the barriers between us,
flooding the sparks of sweetness and romance,
putting us in a comfort zone danger.

and there is nothing else to say,
nothing seems too new to be ventured,
left the emptiness and silly jokes,
frustration and depressions

You were there,
And I am here,
Separated by time,

.

Can you at once stop being ignorant?
and try to feel what is inside my shoes.
As I have been looking around wondering on,
and there you are, I have found my own.
but somehow now I am lost again,
into the darkness that I have created myself.
To protect me from the light of hopeless hope,
that you kept on giving and never let go.

Sunday evening

Sunday evening,
well-spent with my favourite kind of people,
under the not so blue sky,
with iridescent indigo clouds.

Stories told, laughter unfold,
made a friend or two,
However, they don't speak
but only purred.

Sunday evening,
coming towards its end,
to welcome tomorrow Monday,
and now is the end.

The Dream

Almost every sunshine, he visited me with the familiar images,
The wonderful smell of his aftershave,
The comfort of his warm body languages,
and the most precious was his sweet kisses.

With him,
I would declare that I am finally home.
But unfortunately,
it is just in my dreams.

None.

As i was laying on my bed that particular morning,
with the sunlight right from the sun welcoming my awful day,
and the numerous sounds of many things,
I was shuddered from my dreams.

The sounds of the spinning old fan,
The ticking of the cheap clock,
The chirping from the flocks of birds,
and the drift of each annoying cars outside.

These are what we called nature,
nothing else but natural sounds of music,
from the place we call mother earth.

another and another

Another invitations,
another happiness to be celebrated,
the time is indeed running out fast,
and goes the same as the year has passed.

Cheer up no stress,
stop counting the leftover numbers,
and enjoy the last bits in your lifetime,
as you still have more to be ventured.

Think on the bright sides,
at least you still have your 'me' time,
to keep your personal moment yourself,
and to focus on your own leisure first.

#aadc2014

"Adalah cinta yang mengubah jalannya waktu,
Karena cinta , waktu terbagi dua.
Denganmu Dan rindu untuk membalik masa. 

Detik tidak pernah melangkah mundur,
Tapi kertas putih itu selalu ada,
Waktu tidak pernah berjalan mundur,
Dan hari tidak pernah terulang.
Tetapi pagi selalu menawarkan cerita yang baru,
Untuk semua pertanyaan yang belum sempat terjawab "
-Ada Apa Dengan Cinta 2014 mini drama by LINE.

as far as I could remember, #aadc has been my first ever Indonesian drama that put me into arts, crafts and poetry. This drama has also thought me the meaning of friendship and love and how both of them are important in ones life. Hence, to find out that #aadc is back even for a short mini drama, I was very excited to watch my favourite Rangga and Cinta back on the play. From that, I really wish for the part 2 of #aadc showing the reason why Rangga is only back to Jakarta after freaking 12 years.

Miss.

I miss the familiar smell of yours,
The warm hugs you provide,
The annoying gay-ish voice in my ears,
And the everlasting love-hate relationship we had.

Even when I closed my eyes,
I will know you are there keeping me in your arms,
And when I open my eyes,
You are there, ready with lovable kisses.

I miss you here.
I miss you there.

Why not?

Why not?
Make some effort for some little sparks,
in your relationship,
even to have a healthy life,
you need to eat vitamins and supplement for good health, no?

so, why not?
it is worth the try.

Just a little gesture will do,
Just a tiny surprises make do,
Be thoughtful,
Be wiser,
So, why not?

lost in words.

it feels a bit lonely inside,
scrolling up and down just looking at those images,
it is like swallowing a stone,
to hard and to bold,
like how we can simply call a disappointment.

and it is tiring,
to search high and low
for serenity,
for tranquility
that i may find in you.

but for how long shall we wait?
for the day to come.

like how people always says,
good things happen to those who wait.
but i disagree.
because good things happen to those who actually take action.

of hope and expectations.

"it's okay to hold on hope, but never ever put a high expectation on other people - just because there is a possibility for them to disappoint you"

a statement being on replay in my mind.
a statement where my head is well-known off but my heart seem to ignore.

i hope my patience is still there.
and i hope my faith is strong enough.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

anyways,
for the first time in my life i actually 'invest' in myself.
well, i hope it is worth the money.

TFIOUS

Omnis cellula e cellula


All cells come from cell.
Every cell is born of a previous cell, which was born of a previous cell.
Life comes from life.
life begets life begets life begets life begets life.

-Quote by John Green

originally from Virchow's cell theory

Satu ketika itu.

Seketika aku terpikir,
Tentang perasaan aku dan dia.
Tentang cinta yang tidak pasti.
Tentang perhubungan yang tiada ikatan.
Tentang masa yang mencemburui situasi.
Tentang segala suka dan duka, atas dan bawah.

Beginikah kebahagiaan?
Beginikah kesengsaraan?
Beginikah kehidupan?

Kerna sakit di hati, tiada siapa yang tahu,
Pabila kita jatuh tersungkur, siapa yang menolong?

Sakit itu makin menusuk kalbu,
Pabila insan yang disayangi tidak mengerti permainan di  hati,
dan melihat kita terus jatuh ke junam yang mendalam.

Terhenti seketika nafas ini,
Pabila insan yang diingini,
Tidak mampu membawa kita bangkit jauh ke atas, bersama.

Adakah harapan itu wujud?
Adakah masa depan itu pasti?

Wake-up call

"Words are life. 
All those pages, they're for you to fill"

And i've been staring at this monitor of mine on what  to write; what to tell. It has been almost half a year since i last written in here; my small world.

At some point, my thoughts has been swimming around in my head. If i'm good enough, i'll share it with the best person that will forever understand and never judged me even before or after the tell. But most of the time, i will scribbles them down in my tiny blue book.

Lately, there are more of sudden wake up note written everywhere and here's a one of them that i won't mind sharing to the public. Most of them are private but not specifically written in my daily  journal.

30th May 2014 - 10.40am.

It never occurs to me that growing up could be so challenging and no fun at all. There will always be rules for you to follow, the don'ts for you to ignore but a huge temptations for you to make do of it inspite what people might say. No wonder, all the adults (oh well, most of them) will always tell you that "make sure you enjoy your childhood as much as you can before you enter the world of reality" Even now, i say them all to my nephews. It is truly true been told because once you enter adulthood, there is no turning back - and all decisions are made in your very bare hands. You will surely be wholly responsible with each of them own once the decisions are made. Unlike when you were young, where you will only make do the decisions decided by your guardians and you are not responsible to them because they told you to do that; so you just be the followers, followed their orders.

But now; it is impossible. Because this is life. Your life and you are responsible with all the future in front of you. Your path.

and now, i need to make a change with my life.